SIBLING ROOM SHARING - GOOD OR BAD IDEA?

Written by Diana Martins

I have a vague memory, but when I was growing up, I know I did share a room with my younger sister for a period of time.

Currently, my two boys (age 7 and age 4) are sharing a room. It started when we moved my youngest out of the crib, we knew he would feel safer to have his brother nearby on the top bunk. Having his older brother nearby made the transition so much easier.

Please Note: that it is recommended that your child be 6 years old to sleep on the top bunk for safety reasons.

I wanted to write this post to share my experience so far as it is not as romantic or exciting as my core memory thinks it would be. To be honest, if I had the space (we are using an extra room as an office space), I would have separated them by now.  If you are thinking about having your children share a room, here are my words of advice below:

Tip 1:

Ensure they are on the same schedule.

For example, if your child is 10 years old and has an 8 pm bedtime, then your 12-month-old may still need a bedtime as early as 6:30 pm. For us, both my boys have a similar bedtime, and this makes it work. There is a disconnect some nights where I do feel guilty that my youngest gets to bed too late for his sleep needs. Not to mention he has FOMO (fear of missing out)! If he knows his brother is coming later, he isn’t always happy to have to go to bed first.

Tip 2:

Have a strong bedtime routine.

We have a routine of potty/brush teeth/bath or shower/lotion/get dressed/one story and then bed. The reason we need a strong routine is because it keeps the kiddos on track. I have created a Free Bedtime Routine printable here and we have this posted in their room so they can follow each night.

Tip 3:

Avoid distractions!

Try keeping the room as toy free as possible. This will create a calm and peaceful sleep environment. If there are too many toys in the room, it can be difficult for them to focus on getting ready for bed.  

Tip 4:

Pretend the floor is lava! Ok, so the stories are done, and the little chatter and bedtime stalling is over and now everyone is spent. The kiddos never seem to want to actually climb into their beds after the entire ritual is completed. My trick is to keep it playful and to say that the floor is going to turn into lava and start a countdown to 5. The kids love this, and they hop into bed as quick as they can. I then say goodnight, take breakfast requests and then shut the door and walk out.

Tip 5:

Respect their individual sleep needs.

Every child is different and may have different sleep requirements. While one child may need more sleep, the other may be a light sleeper and wake up easily. It's important to recognize and respect these differences. For example, my youngest needs a solid 10-12 hours of sleep, while my oldest is fine with 9 hours. We make sure to prioritize their individual needs and adjust accordingly.

Tip 6:

Address any conflicts or issues promptly.

Sharing a room have often led to disagreements or conflicts between siblings. Wrestling and rough play are what we see all the time with my boys. It's important to address these issues as soon as they arise. Encourage open communication and problem-solving skills. Teach them to respect each other's space and belongings. This will help create a harmonious living environment for everyone involved.

Tip 7:

Consider illness and sickness.

If one child is sick, it is more likely for the other child to catch it since they are sharing the same sleeping space. In my experience, having a sick child did not lead to waking up the other child. This was a huge win for us considering we were able to clean up vomit and manage fevers while the other child was fast asleep. No disruptions were caused thankfully due to the white noise machine and us just using a hallway light to see.

My kiddos go to sleep relatively quickly and only OCCASIONALLY do they chat with each other before they actually fall asleep. I hope that by allowing them to share a room it helps encourage a beautiful and strong bond between them as siblings. I hope they have these memories for them to cherish as part of their childhood.  

Sharing a room can be a great experience for siblings, but it does come with its challenges. By following these tips and being mindful of your children's individual needs, you too, can create a positive and peaceful sleeping arrangement for everyone.

Good luck!

Diana Martins

https://dianamartins.ca