DAY CARE DILEMMA

Written by Diana Martins

Time has flown by so fast - I’m entering another phase of letting go and giving independence to another little one. My sweet baby girl is about to start daycare in a few short days. As a mom, this is one of the hardest transitions I’ve experienced. I’ve done it twice previously with each of my boys and doing it a third time with my last baby doesn’t make it any easier.

I find myself asking “why can’t I do it all? why can’t I continue to work AND care for her? Be supermom!?”

 The answer revealed itself to me earlier this week. First guilt trip was during a work call, and I was distracted. Jazzy was out of my sight and she climbed all the way up the stairs all on her own. I am so grateful nothing happened to her and she had the skills to get up the stairs.

Second guilt trip happened again while I was on a work call and she was playing in her room quietly. Jazzy brought me a book to read…but I couldn’t. Oh boy the parent guilt really sets in.

I want her to have my full attention and presence. Quality of time versus quantity of time. I have to work to be able to provide/support her what she wants and dreams of. This is the reality of the sacrifices working parents must make every single day. 

By having my toddler in full time daycare this gives me space to be a more present parent, so that our time spent together will be higher quality. She is more active now and needs structure in her day, she is far from the little potato she used to be while I was taking clients calls 3 months post-partum.

Since Jasmine has been born, I have been working and burning the candle at both ends. For a while I was working early in the morning or late at night and during her naptimes. This is not sustainable nor healthy for my own mental health. I look forward to doing daycare drop off so that I can have an hour to myself: to exercise, shower and get ready for my workday. This is the type of mom I want to be. I have been envisioning this for months. I am looking forward to getting some time for myself.

Less physical time is what the logical brain tells us will happen when our child is away from us. Early bedtimes feel unfair. I have seen my older two adapt to their daycare within 2 weeks. I generally put them in full time, 5 days a week to create consistency and a routine. She will be almost 15 months upon starting daycare and still on 2 naps. Our daycare provider will keep her on 2 naps until she can transition to 1 nap, maybe by 16 months she will be ready. I am already seeing her naps shorten at home, meaning she is definitely getting ready to transition. When she does transition to a 1 nap schedule, I will move up bedtime even earlier. I do have flexibility to pick her up early so we can really make the most of our afternoons.

Baby Jazzy & I

This is all a part of the parenting journey. This is part of growing up. This is part of me being able to provide and nurture for my children in a different way. This is part of the sacrifice every working parent makes. Wish me luck on this next phase.

Cheers to all of the working parents!

Diana Martins

https://dianamartins.ca