SOME BABIES DON'T SLEEP

Written by Diana Martins

My first baby almost broke me.

My second baby gave me confidence.

My third baby has humbled me.

My first was a terrible sleeper. Up every 2 hours from birth until we sleep trained him at 10 months. Sleep training worked and it was a lifesaver! My second was a great sleeper. Even as a newborn he gave me 8 hour stretches. I presumed it was because we were more educated and aware of sleep hygiene by establishing a sleep routine early on and ensuring he wasn’t overtired. Our swaddle game was perfection. I still sleep trained him at 13 weeks and it made his sleep even better.

Now with my third baby, we thought to ourselves, we’ve got this newborn sleep thing. We will just keep doing all the “right things” and we will survive the early days until we sleep train her. This has been such a humbling experience because even though we are doing all the things, she is still up every 2-3 hours at night. Not only that, it is very difficult to get her down. She seems to like when I walk with her versus rocking or nursing like my other older two boys did. Putting her to sleep seems like an athletic feat at times.

At the newborn stage, until at least 12 weeks, we are just sleep shaping. Trying to establish routines, establish feedings as well as hoping for a couple of longer stretches. You cannot sleep train a newborn and she is currently just a mere 8 weeks old.

I have an entire sleep consulting team behind me to provide help and advice but her sleep is still quite unscheduled. Being a sleep consultant, I am more than qualified to manage her sleep, but this baby really struggles. I’ve noticed she wakes due to gas or reflux. Also, if she has a bowel movement, a change is required which means she is fully awake after that. Followed by spitting up on one to two outfits and before I know it I’ve been up with her for almost 2 hours. It’s a fashion show at night with both my baby and I changing outfits due to spit up.

Naps can also be tough and there are some days where she simply wants to be held and there are also good days we can put her down and she sleeps well. Naps are short unless she is held and it is appropriate developmentally. It just makes it hard to get anything done!

I wanted to write this post to let other mothers know that it may not be that you are doing anything wrong, it is just that HARD. I am so privileged with my experience and occupation and I am still struggling. I will be an even more empathic sleep coach because of what I am currently experiencing. This is a season, this is learning and this is truly humbling.

Diana Martins

https://dianamartins.ca