UNCOVERING PERINATAL DEPRESSION

Written by Diana Martins

I didn’t feel any connection to my growing baby. Everyone said it’s your second child, this is a normal feeling. You are so busy with the first, you have no time! Or it’s not a novelty to you any more, this is your second go around. My breaking point was when my husband said that he was so excited. I couldn’t relate. I lashed out and asked what there was to be excited about? The sleepless nights, the pain, the physical exhaustion – I didn’t feel excitement. I felt dread. I felt so off and disconnected that I started to Google. I didn’t even know that Pre- Partum Depression was a thing. All the boxes were checked. I felt dread, no connection, no excitement. I felt as if I didn’t care and that this was just a thing that was happening to me. The next day I booked an appointment to see my family doctor. The day after I went to see a psychotherapist. I acted immediately as I did not want to feel like this – I wanted to love my baby. Putting a label to my emotions, Pre Partum Depression, was immensely helpful.

I had one session, and with CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) I was able to change how I felt about my baby. During our session my therapist uncovered that my first birth had so much trauma I couldn’t see past it to even enjoy this second. In my head, history would repeat- almost like PTSD. My OBGYN was amazing, she ensured they did everything possible to give me a better birth this time around and I must say I had a perfectly medically managed birth. Everything the second time around was different, and with the tools during my therapy session, I was able to really enjoy my little boy.

My advice would be to never ignore that inner voice if something doesn’t feel right. Birth comes with a lot of trauma for many women. I truly feel women should be given a therapy session as part of postpartum care.

Diana Martins

https://dianamartins.ca